I can understand how this looks, though I'm not asking anyone to deal with me. It wasn't an interaction I wanted, one I asked for, or even one I expected.
I was raised to believe words are just words, it's people that give them power. It definitely comes across as abrasive and asshole-ish behavior. I curse like a sailor, my whole family does. This is in no way excuses, just insight. In the moment I don't see what I say as particularly bothersome because it doesn't bother me at all if someone was saying it to me.
Everything he said to me was nothing that particularly threatened me or scared me, honestly I couldn't have cared less what he had said. If he had remained civil, I would have as well... but he didn't. IMO the verb is accurate. Appropriate? Probably not, but at this point we're arguing word schematics in a completely unwanted interaction where someone isn't getting his way so he just steals the character because my answer was no.
I believe any attempt at being polite or kind to this person would have ended the same way, he would have continued on with character theft. The road I took to get there when interacting with him just probably wasn't the best, but it was much tamer than what could have been said or what he said himself.