cknsausage

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The commissioner is not allowed to post or share the art anywhere. Instead, there is a separate, watermarked, low resolution version and you, the commissioner, may only upload that, no exceptions. The completed, full-res piece is for "personal use only" and may not be uploaded anywhere!

That is not unusual - I know that's the policy myself and quite a few other artists adopt. Artists hold supreme copyrights over their art, not the commissioner, so if they don't want the full res being posted elsewhere then that is entirely within their right.

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Partial refunds for partially completed art. Fair enough, even though the percentages aren't listed so they can make up anything they want. However, you aren't allowed to keep or use the partially completed art you've just purchased. If the commissioner is paying for it, isn't it theirs? Otherwise what am I being charged for?

You're paying for their time to make the art. The art itself is the by-product, the payment is usually considered to be for labour (ie, doing the art). So that would be an incorrect assumption.

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You can be "blacklisted" at any time for a variety of vague reasons including "being rude" or "being disrespectful". At that point, the artist is allowed to select how much to give as a partial refund, even though they are the one choosing to give the refund.

Again, I don't see the issue with a blacklist - I DO see a problem with the vague refund part (for instance in my ToS I have a piece about how I will absolutely not work with rude or arrogant commissioners - frankly because I've dealt with them before and they're never worth the money you get from them). But in mine I also will refund if payment has been taken before they show themselves as such.

Personally I think the part about no due dates or a public queue is a bit of a problem, because then from the other side (the client's point of view) - that leaves a lot of room for uncertainty - especially given the paypal claim deadline is 6 months. The lack of a queue means they also can't verify how long it usually takes the artist to do to the work so.. personally if I was a commissioner I would give it a miss based on that.

I only use Ko-Fi as I've heard some bad stuff about Patreon being scraped for content, but Ko-fi has been a breeze for me. Easy for people to use and it comes into your account straight away. You also have the option to set it up like a Patreon with paid-content but I haven't done that yet because I don't get enough traffic through it to really justify the monthly cost (it's low, but still something that's not really worth my  time at this point).

I would stop tipping her as a means of asking for updates, because she might just be milking that like 'Oh LonelyRider will keep giving me money if I don't reply'. You already paid for the art and so it shouldn't be required for you to tip more to get the work that's supposed to be ready!